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| creem magazine, gigglechick, portland, thestranger, croatia, hannibal, suicidegirls, 1992, cheryl hines, indepth analysis, film reviews, adult, | And you'll never read this because if we ever meet again, I'll be too busy trying to have no shame, trying not to be human, but I am, and just thinking about you accidentally when I'm out, about what we did, makes me have to turn around and go home, embarrassed to be seen by anyone on the street, afraid they can smell it on me, that I am a whore. What is this shame worth, though, if once gigglechick.com I'm home I always come for gigglechick.com you, even though you can no longer see? And did you ever wonder gigglechick.com what your mother thought looking down (or up? Hey, that's your trip, not mine) while you let my blood run down in a screaming sacrifice to your own demon guilt? Now that you are gone, and it's me spilling my own blood in the sink, is it her eyes that make me ashamed, keep me human? Is she watching me still? THE URGE TOWARDS LOVE, PUSHED TO ITS LIMIT, IS AN URGE TOWARDS DEATH A family falls apart quickly. |
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| Weren't we women only an afterthought for you? So why did I end up having to be your barometer, your gage of what was humiliating, walking some sick line between the base prostitutes of your wet dreams and your prissy W.A.S.P. wife and high cheryl hines school back-of-your-car fucks? And when G.B. walked into my dreams waving his testosterone stick all over the place, I thought of you thinking of literature as religion's heir, and wonder cheryl hines if you fancied me and my stories as some Christ figure you could put on the cross and still call yourself an atheist and not cheryl hines feel like Marx would spit on you if he met you on the street. But he would anyway, wouldn't he, since if I can be like Jesus, I can also be the poor worker you're exploiting with your fat wallet and fast car and male privilege, and don't try to reduce me you son of a bitch cause there's always another side, you know that, you taught it to me. |
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