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I can celebs have my cake and eat it too. The 12-step work allows me to see that I can manage my celebs life if I do certain things. My goal is to be in conscious contact with a higher power, even though that higher power may be inside me. It's almost as if in my celebs head there's one identity and self-image, and in my heart there's a different one. When there is more of a balance of heart and mind, that's the truer me. The HIV-Negative Support Group that meets once a month in Boston has been remarkable. It's like I'm ripe: it's time for me to start talking about things that really matter to me, and that's where I talk. I don't always feel I'm understood. People sometimes try to give advice when it's not asked for. There's "cross talk," as we say in 12-step programs.
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